Tuesday, June 26, 2012

My nephew on migraines...

Migraine Awareness Month #25: "Through My Children’s Eyes"
Today’s blogging challenge prompt is to write a letter to yourself from your children.

So, I confess. I almost skipped today’s blogging challenge. I don’t have kids, and while I have enjoyed reading my fellow bloggers posts from their four legged friends perspectives, I have an outdoor pet, so she doesn’t know much about my migraines.
I never really knew if I wanted kids, but with migraines like I have, I couldn’t have them anyway. I am OK with it and I have this amazingly cool, understanding husband who seems to be happy with just me so that’s pretty awesome. I also have these awesome nephews and a niece who I just adore. I never imagined I could love kids so much. I know, I know, people say if I had my own it would blow how much I love these kids out of the water, but seriously, my heart couldn’t take it if that were true. So, since they are the closest thing I have to kids, I decided to ask one of them what he thought of my migraines. Here was what he wrote:

“My aunt Julie's migraines have always been there. no matter what I wanted, if Julie was having a migraine I couldn't do it. Sometimes we had to cancel plans we had waited on for quite a while, it always felt unfair, that Julie should have to deal with it and we didn't. Another thing with the migraines is that she has to take a lot of medicine to help with them and that can't be easy on her system as far as side-affects go.”

Now, I can’t write a letter to myself through his eyes. I just don’t know what he’d say for sure. I can tell you though that he asks me how I feel, he asks me how my head has been, and when he is with my mother (his grandmother) and someone tells her about one of those “remedies” that they read in Reader’s Digest or the Herbal Daily or wherever people get those “remedies” they tell about, he tells me as soon as he sees me to be sure to ask Granny about what someone told her would help my migraines. He pays attention and he cares. He even worries about my medicine, as his quote shows. He’s learning empathy from hearing about my migraines and watching me. Sure, he’s learning disappointment too when I can’t be there for him, and that’s heart wrenching for me. I wish he never had to be disappointed by anything that I had control over, but then, I realize, I don’t have control over this. I think he realizes that too. When I have to cancel plans, my heart breaks. But these kids always take it in stride—even though I know they are disappointed.

So, for all my migraine friends, if my nephew is learning this stuff in the little bits and pieces of time he watches me and is affected by my migraines, I know your children are learning valuable lessons from watching you with migraines too. They are seeing your strength; they are seeing you react to unbearable circumstances with what is likely patience and grace. They are seeing how your love for them overcomes your pain on most days and inspires you to do things that most people could not. Parents just seem to have a superhuman strength when it comes to their kids. I’ll probably miss out on getting that superhuman strength by not having kids, but I won’t miss out on the love. I love and am loved, and that’s enough.

National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.

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