Today I am writing from the prompt Steel Magnolias: "That which does not kill us makes us stronger": The prompt asks in what ways are we stronger by living with Migraine or another Headache Disorder?
To tell you the absolute truth, I chose this prompt. The real prompt for today was about how do you cope with the way Migraines affect your memory, and I don't know that I cope with it, I think it just happens and I can't help it so I deal with it. But again, to tell you the absolute truth, I'm not really sure how to approach this prompt either.
Am I stronger because of Migraines? Maybe. Maybe I'm not stronger, but maybe I am just aware of how strong I am in a way that I wouldn't have been before. I don't always feel very strong. I usually feel pretty weak in the face of the beast. I know I have to have some strength or I wouldn't have made it through 15 years of chronic migraine. I would have given in to that urge that says in the middle of the worst pain, "Your life is always going to be this way. Pain is all you will ever know. Why keep going?" It takes strength to hold off those thoughts. It takes good friends, family, a good therapist and just generally a great support system to hold off those thoughts. But overall, it takes strength to let that support system work in those darkest hours.
So, am I stronger because the migraines or just aware of how strong I am because of them? That's a question I can't answer. I hate to think anything good has come from these wretched monsters that destroy my life in every other way, so I am hesitant to say they have made me stronger. Revealing strength may sound like a good thing too, but anything can do that. It doesn't take a life-destroying illness to do that.
Maybe I'm just beating around the proverbial bush here and anyway you look at it, Migraines have brought me some strength. Damn. I hate those things for torturing me and I hate them for making me stronger. I just hate'em.
June, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is issued by FightingHeadacheDisorders.com