Thursday, June 27, 2013

Migraine Awareness Month #27: GooseFraba. Dealing with Anger and Resentment

Today's Prompt is from the movie Anger Management: GooseFraba:  How do you constructively deal with the anger and resentment that arises as a result of living with Migraine/Headache Disorders?  

You may be saying What the Heck?  What the heck is Goosefraba?  Goosefraba is a word that was used in the Anger Management movies to relieve anger when it arose in the lead character.  Just a silly word, that was supposed to dispel the situation and provide some relief.  In real life, I don't know how much saying a word like Goosefraba would help the anger and resentment I feel from Migraines.  I don't just feel angry because I have Migraines, although I have plenty of anger about that.  I feel anger about all that I feel Migraines have taken from me.  My ability to work, my ability to succeed in so many areas of life that other people get to.  My ability to finish law school.  My ability to have a family--complete with kids.  My ability to have choices, choices unaffected by how my head feels or might feel at any given instant.  My ability to have fuller friendships, unaffected by migraine always looming over us.  Migraines steal so much.

I realize this post isn't supposed to be all about what migraines take, but about how I deal with it.  Constructively.  I don't know how I deal with it.  I see a therapist and have for many, many years.  He helps.  I have a great support system.  I cry sometimes.  I cry a lot during a migraine.  You just deal.  I can't let anger take over my life.  I'm not that kind of person.  I use Dori's line in Finding Nemo and "Just Keep Swimming", only I "Just Keep Smiling".  Eventually the smile kind of bleeds in and you can't help but feel a little happier because you've been smiling all the freaking time. 

I write. This blog and social media helps me let out the negativity and create some distance from my feelings, both good and bad.  It's therapy for me.  Therapy gives me a safe space to let out my feelings, both good and bad and get some distance from them too.  I don't know how people who don't write or see a therapist survive!  

I have many people in my life that I love who love me back.  That helps with anger and resentment.  It's hard to be overcome with anger when you are surrounded by love.  And  I am lucky to be surrounded by love.  Lucky in many ways, just really unlucky in one big way.

June, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders.  The Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is issued by FightingHeadacheDisorders.com

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