I knew when I started this journey of trying to post everyday for 30 days, it would be a huge task for me. Monumental when you consider my daily migraines. And it has been. I'm so proud of myself, if I can brag for a moment, for getting something up everyday--except yesterday. I have a good excuse though.
See, I have these daily chronic migraines. They are unrelenting lately. For awhile, I would wake and have five or six good hours in the morning and early afternoon, but this week, something has changed, and I don't get those early morning and afternoon good hours before the migraine hits. I've just been waking with the migraine or only had about two hours and then BOOM, there it is. Like a ton of bricks. So writing and keeping my promise to post something everyday or nearly everyday has been quite the struggle as of late. But dang it, there are only a few days left in Migraine Awareness Month, and I am going to make it. I am going to write it out! (Get it, not ride it out, but write it out? I was trying to be clever....) Anyway, sorry for missing the day yesterday. I will go back and pick it up. But first, let me tell you about my day yesterday.
I woke with the same migraine I went to sleep with the night before. My left eye felt like it would explode right out of the socket. The whole eye socket hurt, as if something was scraping it or being done to it that is indescribable. It just hurt. The left side of my head felt as if it was on fire and that someone was trying to flatten out that side of my brain on top of that. I know I am not doing the pain justice by trying to put it into words because it really is excruciating and indescribable.
After many tears and trying to decide if I had anything here that would touch the pain and would give me relief, plus a call to my psychologist who keeps me sane in these situations and helps me reason through what I should do, it was decided that I should go to the ER. Now, most migraineurs HATE going to the ER. Getting in the car with a migraine is the last thing we want to do, plus ER's are typically noisy, crowded, you can't lay down, you may wait for hours to get to a dark room, there is always the risk they will think you are a drug seeker instead of a legitimate patient... The negatives go on and on. But of course, at times, it's the one place where you can get the treatment you need to break your migraine, so the cost/benefit analysis says you have to go. So I went.
The car ride was difficult, there's nothing to be done about that. We get there, and they are doing the floors with that large, loud machine. Great. Luckily the waiting room isn't crowded and they get me into triage quickly. Then in about 5 or 10 minutes, they get me into a room. I'm so happy to be away from that floor machine! The doc comes in and asks what works for me, and voila, I get Benadryl and Compazine just like that. I like being able to ask for Benadryl and Compazine. What drug-seeker wants Benadryl and Compazine? That didn't work completely so they followed it up with Demerol and Phenergan and sent me home to sleep it off. I slept about 5 hours, and was awake for about 30 minutes, and then BOOM, here came another migraine, this time complete with nausea and vomiting.
Migraines suck. I thought my ER trip would solve my migraines for the day. It didn't. I thought that one migraine was enough for the day after the the four meds I had that day. It wasn't. These things are unpredictable and uncontrollable. It's just the way they are. They suck the life out of you if you let them. Somedays, I admit I let them, other days, I fight it with all my might. I just do what I can--and that's all I can do.