Monday, June 9, 2014

A day when nothing cooperates ....

All of you know I have intractable migraines. A migraine is bad every day, but some days it's really bad--make you want to curse God and scream at the world and die bad.  Today was one such day.  As soon as I cracked my eyes open,  I immediately longed to be back asleep where I felt no pain.  I felt as though someone had my head open wide, and was stirring my brain with a whisk. Everything in my head felt loose,  as if it were moving against my skull.  My eyes felt like they were being scraped. My eyelids felt like sandpaper.  I immediately began to cry because the pain was so bad. Crying never helps,  of course,  and in fact usually only makes things worse, but sometimes it cannot be helped. 

So, on days like these,  you depend on your medication to save you. But there's a phenomenon that's little known outside the migraine world called gastropariesis that's says, No, your meds aren't going to work today.  Gastropariesis is basically paralysis of the gut and it happens once the migraine process is full blown.  Things just shut down, oral meds don't process. What goes down often comes back up.  This is why injectables are an important part of treating migraine. They bypass the stomach and go straight to the bloodstream.  Unfortunately,  I don't have any injectables right now. My meds are oral, so all day, I've been taking med after med, just hoping and praying one of them might eventually get through,  with no such luck.

Now finally,  it's late enough I can justify taking my night meds.   I have no idea if they'll work any better than any other med I've taken today. Being awake all day in this pain, waiting on relief that never comes,  has been excruciating.  I can only hope the night meds will be more successful and the peace of sleep will fall upon me soon.  Please,  as you read this, hope with me for relief and peace and much needed sleep. Thank you.